The Double Blow
One of my wingies made a post, titled ‘A Year’ with a year-old treat photograph and all the memories came rushing back. Getting ourselves packed in the cars, people rushing to avoid traveling with CS guys :D not ready to share their relentless PJs, a stop at the wine shop, ex-VP insisting on white rum, the open atmosphere at GI, the familiar staff always happy to receive us confident of making a good sale, starters and Daaru and the food and people giving their comments on others and taking group photos and someone joking over DJ, the hotel guys hiding the bottles because there was an inspection, the waiter getting confused about ‘chow’ and well, a whole lot of things.
It was a lot of sentu already. What makes things worse is my imminent goodbye to the current job. Leaving a job shouldn’t be like this, it requires being a lot more professional. But then it wasn’t a job as it should have been. The relationships made were more friendly than job-like. Instead of forging adult-like job relations, instead of keeping it limited to half-hearted wishes, instead of keeping a customary concern for others more out of duty than out of heart, we indulged in college-like frenzy. We dined and hanged out, went for movies, had nonsense discussions, made fun of each other, grouped to make small talk, celebrated birthdays with bumps and found occasions to fight over petty things. Totally unprofessional, you see. Now is the time to pay for it. As long as I was busy with the applications and visa documents, I remained blissfully unaware of the farewell at hand. Now that I am a bit free, the feelings keep pushing up the throat sometimes. I have to go, and with time I will adjust with a new place, new people and I know that. But then after spending almost twenty-four hours everyday for the past one year with these people it won’t let me go so easily without taking its episodic emotional tolls. The harder you have tied the knot, the harder it will hurt when it breaks. The bad part about life is that the knots always do break, sooner or later.
It was a lot of sentu already. What makes things worse is my imminent goodbye to the current job. Leaving a job shouldn’t be like this, it requires being a lot more professional. But then it wasn’t a job as it should have been. The relationships made were more friendly than job-like. Instead of forging adult-like job relations, instead of keeping it limited to half-hearted wishes, instead of keeping a customary concern for others more out of duty than out of heart, we indulged in college-like frenzy. We dined and hanged out, went for movies, had nonsense discussions, made fun of each other, grouped to make small talk, celebrated birthdays with bumps and found occasions to fight over petty things. Totally unprofessional, you see. Now is the time to pay for it. As long as I was busy with the applications and visa documents, I remained blissfully unaware of the farewell at hand. Now that I am a bit free, the feelings keep pushing up the throat sometimes. I have to go, and with time I will adjust with a new place, new people and I know that. But then after spending almost twenty-four hours everyday for the past one year with these people it won’t let me go so easily without taking its episodic emotional tolls. The harder you have tied the knot, the harder it will hurt when it breaks. The bad part about life is that the knots always do break, sooner or later.
posted by kb at 7:45 PM
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